Have you ever been a member of a family that was complete and happy? not me.
I think for years I idolised the family thing, you all looked so happy even when arguing. Here in the bubble bath on old creamy England there is a sense that its proper to be in that perfect two up two down family. I dreamed as a boy with fingers crossed and tight lips praying “please please let me have a family soon”. Watching those racey royals laugh it up and lounge in family bliss didn’t help this munchkins cause one little bit.
So i turned to stimulants like sweeties and toys and this carried on into adult hood aka up to now. I have been trying to fill a dam void in the heart of my soul and for the love of cheesy marmite toast its not working. Some days I am very cool and calm like monkey in a hot spring others a frantic squirrel desperately losing in an underpants competition. There is at this moment of writing only one way to get over my anxiety of being in the cold of the traditional family unit and thats make friends with human beings beyond my toy and online games. But making friends is another fandango for the future.